Gaara and Kankuro: ON DRUGSOR ALCOHOL!
by demonic blood shed666
Summary: After being forcefully invited to Kakashi's birthday party the boys' are given something that should not be given to little boys'. Let it be alcohol or some drug is unknown. Now Temari is facing the horror of a Tigger/Gaara and gum obsessed Kankuro. onesh


BEWARE, ONESHOT AND OOCNESS OF A SERIOUS NATURE….

ENJOY

"Dum Dum! Give me gum, gum!"

Temari blinked slowly, her eyes wide as she stared in slight mortification with a completely immobile body. Never in all her life did she picture herself seeing something like this and the fan wielder shook her head, rubbed her eyes and looked again.

"No! You're name is Dum Dum! _My _name is Tigger!"

Nope, what she was seeing obviously wasn't a trick from dry or scratchy eyes. Terrified on a higher level the blonde pinched herself in the arm, only to feel the sharp pain which told her that she was in fact facing reality and not being the third wheel in some other worldly dream.

"…Shut up Dum Dum! Now go fetch me some gum gum!"

"You shut up! I told you I'm Tigger!! T, I, double ga-er! _Tigger!_"

"Dum Dum!"

"Tigger!"

"Dum Dum!"

"Tigger!"

"_Dum Dum!" _the woman shivered; that one actually came off menacing somehow.

A horrifying grin sent goose bumps running across every square inch of her flesh and if she was right than the older of the two bickering in the living room of their apartment felt the same flash of trepidation when the look was sent his way.

The green orbs nearly bugged out of her skull when the youngest started to…hop around the room.

Merrily.

Like a little bunny rabbit.

Oh gods how that image did not look right with the being she was looking at.

"The wonderful thing about Tiggers' is that Tiggers' are a wonderful thing!"

"Dum Dum, stop it!...And go get me gum gum!"

"Their tops are made out of rubba! Their bottoms are made out of springs!"

The woman actually began to shake as she took a few steps back in fear, movements slow and cautious seeing as how she didn't want to draw attention to herself as her younger siblings…did weird and scary things.

Ha! And she – along with everyone else – had all thought that Gaara had been scary before! But noooo…homicidal, psychopathic Sabuku no Gaara was an incredible beautiful…butterfly compared to what she was seeing now!

This…this happy go lucky Gaara Tigger thing was so, so, _so much worse!! So, so, so, so, so, so, scary._

And not the scary that made everyone in the room start laughing from the over sense of adorableness either.

No it was _scary, _scary, so scary that it had idealistic adults run and piss their pants screaming!

Oh yes, Mother, Father and Uncle Yashamaru were all certainly turning and screaming in blind circles within their small and scary little graves!

"They're bouncy, flouncy, trounsy, pounsy, fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN!"

Oh damn and to make it all worse he was actually…using his sands to…to…place tiger ears on top of his red haired skull, dying the sediment so it was painted orange and black stripes. Hell! He was making a long, curly tiger's tail too! Yeah, that's right! A curly and long orange and black striped tail that he was actually using to…bounce, yeah that's right _BOUNCE _around the living room of the apartment, bouncing off the walls, the stairs…the ceiling…her other brother Kankuro who spluttered out in indignation.

"Dum Dum!! That's a big no-no!!"

And here goes Kankuro! Taking out his freaky little puppets as he tried to use them to capture the happy go lucky, singing sand manipulator! ...With his warrior paint covering his entire body in purple boxes and stripes.

And oh how she envisioned destroying every single 'Night at the Museum' tape she saw for giving him his weird new fetish…the same going with 'Winnie the Pooh'.

"But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers' is that IIIIII'MMMMM the only one!! Who-who-hhooo!!"

"WHERE'S MY GUM GUM?! DUM DUM! I SAID GO GET ME SOME GUM GUM!!"

"And I said my name's not Dum Dum! I'm Tigger, and I'm _a _Tigger! Can't you see my pretty little springy tail and pretty little Tigger ears? If you can't than you're Dum Dum!"

Gods, and to think that the sole reason they were here was to participate in Kakashi's birthday party seeing as how he basically ordered everyone to show up. Damn that….ninja….for giving her little brothers either some sort of weed or alcohol!

Uh oh….

The woman froze in her position as it seemed she had accidentally cursed out loud and no her drunk – and/or – high little brothers were fixated on her.

Still backing away Temari eyed both boys' warily only turning and bolting out the door when an almost manic grin blossomed on Gaara's face and he shouted, pointed at her retreating form:

"Mrs. Kanga ma'am!! Is Roo with you I want to play with Roo! Who-who-hoo!"

"I am not participating in your childish schemes!!" she shouted back only to scream and run harder down the street when a sproingy Gaara and running Kankuro in slow motion made their way towards her. Random Konohaonians widened their gazes and wisely turned away from the trio, deciding not to intrude on the family moment, they should run into someone soon enough.

And sure enough they did!

But with the last two people Temari ever wanted to see seeing as how they were only going to make the situation worse!

"Ah, hello Temari-san!"

"You have exceptional speed for a person who carries a massive weapon on her back! Would you like to join us in our traditional two hundred laps around Konoha?"

Oh, why oh why did it have to be her? Why oh why did she have to have two psychotic brothers on their way of hunting her down only to be blocked and then _blinded _by the overly bright and happy grins of Maito Gai and Rock Lee?

Why?

"MRS. KANGA!! WHY ARE YOU RUNNING FROM US?! IT'S JUST ME! TIGGER! T-I DOUBLE GA-ER! THAT'S HOW YOU SPELL TIGGER!"

"MS. DUM DUM! GO FETCH ME SOME GUM GUM!!"

The Green Beasts of Konoha looked on with confusion their heads cocked when they first saw the infamous turned famous Kankuro and Gaara running up to them looking like cartoon characters.

Finally the two bushy eyed fighters turned to look at each other, for once the large smiles wiped off their faces when Temari hid behind their backs and Gaara and Kankuro stopped in front of them panting. Turning back to look down at the strange pair they widened their eyes further when they were suddenly verbally assaulted by the two.

"DUM DUM SENIOR! DUM DUM JUNIOR! GO FETCH ME GUM GUM! **NOW!**"

"How many times must Tigger tell you?! You are Dum Dum! This is obviously Christopher Robin and Christopher Robin's Daddy!"

Gaara turned wide eyes and a blinding smile over to Lee and Gai and brought out a fist…with a thumb's up as he shouted, "Yosh! Hello Christopher Robin! Hello Christopher Robin's Daddy!"

Blinking Temari looked up at the two she was taking refuge behind, only for her to wonder if it was in fact safe behind them when they positively melted after Gaara pulled off their signature trade mark. His teeth even twinkled!

Clapping the pair responded back to the hyper active child the same way each shouting, "OHAYO! Would you two like to join us for our run?!"

Gaara and Kankuro blinked, the brightened faces dimming for a moment as their lips pursed…well as Gaara did all that, Kankuro just tilted his noggin and scowled.

"…Can I hop?"

"Of course!"

Brightening instantly Gaara grinned once again, clapping excitedly and looking exactly like a five year old child about to get what they wanted. "I would love to! Dum Dum?"

"…Will there be Gum Gum?"

"We can find some!"

"Than of course!"

And much to Temari's horror Gaara and Lee actually glomped in mid air while Gai and Kankuro did the same, ocean waves crashing in front of a dazzling sun set for a moment before the four dashed off towards Konoha's gates.

Shaking her head the blonde started to walk away, intending on finding someone to give her something else to think about only to go through a whole body shiver as horrible voices filled the air.

"THE WONDERFUL THING ABOUT TIGGERS' IS THAT TIGGERS' ARE A WONDERFUL THING!

"THEIR TOPS ARE MADE OUT OF RUBBA! THEIR BOTTOMS ARE MADE OUT OF SPRINGS!

"THEY'RE BOUNCY, FLOUNCY, TROUNCY, POUNCY! FUN, FUN, FUN, FUN, FUN!

"THE MOST WONDERFUL THING ABOUT TIGGERS' IS THAT IIII'MMMMM THE ONLY ONE! WHO-WHO-HOO!!"

Gaara's voice alone ended the strange encounter and she vowed to herself to never let neither of her boys' anyway near alcohol or drugs. "Hey! But I'm Tigger!"

THE END! AND WOW, I DON'T KNOW WHERE THIS CAME FROM! I ONLY KNOW I COULDN'T STOP GRINNING WHILE WRITING IT!

JA NE…NO…T.T.F.N. TA TA FOR NOW!!


End file.
